| Waiting in vain..... |
Waiting itu sebuah kegiatan yang sangat gue sebelin. nggak cukup cuma musti nunggu, gue sekarang lagi harus nunggu sesuatu yang bikin gue terus deg degan (karena hal yang gue tunggu adalah hal yang gue pengenin banget banget BANGET) dan berkaitan dengan penantian ini, gue banyak terpaksa harus "put off" beberapa hal yang biasanya bisa keep gue sedikit lebih sane...jadi yes, this waiting moment really does put my sanity in jeopardy.
Ok, i can't hold it off any longer, I am currently waiting for the blessing of a child...some people might think it's lame...c'mooon shan...babies are for the readies...GOD, i can't tell you how ready i am. Well...i have been ready the moment i realized i'm in love with kids...i work well with most of them, i get along well with them...so why the hell not a kid of my own? yep, I'm so ready...bring it on!
Tapi sekali lagi...semua ini kan udah ada yang ngatur di atas SANA. I understand that. Well..lemme rephrase...i AM TRYING HARD to understand that. Semua tergantung rejeki, dan we just have to be patient and work on it. berdoa- berdoa- dan berdoa....it's not that i don't do a damn thing to get 'there' I do. trust me I do. Just that the fact that I knew I was the one with the problem freaks me up a bit. See, ngerti kan kalo gue bilang my sanity is starting to get questionable? hehhehe....
These things made me ever so envious to see couples who would easily blessed with one, and some even regretted that it happened to them too fast. Some even almost considered it unwanted...hoooboyyy i know i shouldn't say this out loud, but i loathe them for saying things like that...they should have been happy and care enough to take a glimpse at people on my side of the line who would do (almost) anything to get trusted with one.. :( i know i might sound really pathetic and helpless...but what can i say, I AM pathetic and helpless in this matter...
Tapi Allah itu maha baik...gue dikasih cobaan, tapi at the same time dikaruniai 'teman' terbaik dalam menghadapi cobaan ini. Yes, Iman Perdana Bachmid you are one of the reason i can still be sane at the moment. I can't thank Allah enough for giving me such a supportive being for a hubby. Iman tuh nggak pernah pushing me, selalu being so understanding kalo gue lagi on the verge of my nervous breakdown. Oh my, he's a gem! On top of it all, gue merasa beruntung teman teman dan keluarga gue semuanya pitch in buat bikin gue lebih accepting...thank you all.
Recently i have been missing periods...but checking it twice already now, it didn't give me any answer...or more like it didn't give the answer i wanted. hahahha. here i am being pathetic lagi...so i am stuck in waiting...waiting in vain...what should i do, guys? i hate doctors. I am so scared to find out if this is not good news, and something bad is cooking up inside of me... :( one thing if this doesn't turn up to be me being preggers, but what if it's some diseases? aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh.............i can't turn on my caffeine or ciggies, coz what if i am, hahahha...amien! but i need something to keep me going without rotting in this whole mess...
help, anyone? :(
....sad lil girl.... |
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Name: shantz
Home: Jakarta, Bekasi, Indonesia
About Me: simple-bawel-nyengir-ketawa gila,cicip-cemal-cemil lover, food addict,sing-a-long freak...all that made me ...ME
See my profile...
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background by tayler
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posted by shantz at 
